Remembering

It's hard to believe that a year ago today, as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, news broke that the most wanted man in the world had finally met his end at the hands of the US Navy Seals. As word began to slowly tickle across social media networks around the world, I sat there in utter disbelief, shock, and a range of emotions I don't think I can even fully describe. At that point, Sayre had been on deployment for a few months. Immediately my mind raced and wondered what this would mean for not only Sayre and his fellow shipmates, but all of the other countless men & women deployed at the time. Would the terrorist community fall apart now that its mastermind was no-more, or would this just be the beginning - a poke at the beehive which would unleash a fury? Logic suggested that it would take them awhile to regroup and present a new possible attack on us, but at the time, in those moments, all I could think about was my husband sailing overseas far from my reach.

Even sitting here today watching historical recounts of that day, I'm brought back to that night and those same mixed emotions stir up within me. It's such a strange world we live in, isn't it? While the natural reaction for us Americans is to celebrate this huge victory, should the death of another human being be celebrated regardless of who he is or what he's done? Sure, I felt relief and of course the victims of 9/11 came to mind as their murderer finally got justice served to him, but it only begged the question, "What's next?" or rather "Who's next?" It's just so hard to wrap my mind around the pure evil in this world. I try my best to keep those thoughts from my mind, but on days like today I'm reminded of the threats that do still exist and find myself forever grateful for the men and women that proudly put on their uniforms each day and selflessly lay their lives on the line.

Truthfully, in regards to not only this, but every day life, I don't think I will ever be able to put into words the range of emotions I feel from time-to-time simply from being a military wife. I know that at times I may come across as bleeding red white & blue, but it's simply due to the fact that I don't know how else to channel my feelings towards living this life. When it comes to certain things, I'm an open book... but when it comes to these emotions within me, at times, I try to close myself up as tightly as I can to put on my steel armor and hide behind a cloak of strength. Perhaps I have an issue with my own pride, but I'd sooner let my thoughts consume me from within than to drop this heavy shield I've built up and let people see me on those days when I just completely fall apart. "Be strong," I tell myself. "You can't let others know you struggle - it'll convey the wrong message," I believe. I want desperately for others to know that I'm so insanely proud of my husband and everything he does. I want them to see that I stand strongly and proudly behind him. I don't want them to think for even one instant, that I regret him for this or that I wish things were different - because I DON'T. I wouldn't trade this life for anything. My life has been beyond my wildest dreams thanks to God and His divine presence in our lives together. God knew exactly what he was doing when he created Sayre & I for each other - no two people could be more perfect for each other. So, like I said, the last thing I'd ever want to do is give the false impression that I'm unhappy as a result of our journey within this crazy military world... but.... I would be lying, and perhaps some days I do lie (even to myself at times) about the fact that it's easy. It's not easy. There are days (usually when Sayre's been gone just one too many days for training or, of course, during deployments) where all I want to do is curl up into a ball and sink into the ground. When I watched his ship sail away that very first time knowing I wouldn't see his sweet face again for at least 7 months, I felt the deepest sense of longing and sadness that I've ever felt in my entire life. I physically hurt from within. But you know what? I overcame it. We both did. We clung to each other, though thousands of miles and oceans separated us, and we clung to God, and we did it. We made it through without a hitch and we were stronger for it. God used that time to strengthen us in ways I don't think either one of us could have ever even imagined. And goodness gracious, let me tell you, when that ship returned 7 months later and I stood there on that pier with my two sweet fellow Navy wife friends who had stood in that same spot before me to welcome their own husbands home.... oh my... words truly cannot describe how unbelievable and how surreal it felt. The pride that absolutely consumed me for my husband was breathtaking as was the pride I felt to be standing among all of those sailors and their families. These past nearly 3 years of marriage to the most remarkable man who has such a remarkable job has taught me so much. I thank GOD for this opportunity to grow within me indescribable admiration and appreciation for every single person on this planet that has been or ever will be, even in the smallest of ways, affected by our United States military. It's so rare for me to sit down and reflect upon these things and actually attempt to put it into writing, because I know it will inevitably bring me to my knees and the tears will flow, but these are the moments and these are the emotions that for as long as I live, I hope I never forget.

Veteran's Day

I hate to admit it, but growing up (despite the fact that I had veterans in my family), I never truly paid much attention to Veteran's Day other than the fact that it was a day off from school. I can remember discussions of my grandfather attending Veteran's Day festivities in town and stories of reunions with his fellow comrades from WWII at various points in his life, but I honestly never understood the magnitude of it all and what a blessing veterans are to this nation until I started dating Sayre and got a tiny glimpse of what the military life is like.

I'll never know what it's truly like to go through the trials and tribulations of military training. I'll never understand the bond shared by the men and women who serve this country together. I'll never know what it's like to be deployed on land or at sea thousands and thousands of miles away from everything you've ever known all while trying to stay out of harm's way. I'll never experience the heartache of loosing a best friend fighting beside me on the front lines. All I do know is that I am forever and eternally grateful for not only my husband, but all the men and women who have answered that call to serve... who have left behind families that love them... who have selflessly given up many of the things we take for granted here... who have given it their all even when their tired and worn out boots don't want to carry them any further... who have given it all so that we can be free.

If you know a veteran or meet one on the street, just remember to say "thanks." They don't do it for the glory. They don't do it for the attention. They do it selflessly for the love of their country. A simple "thank you" and a smile will go a long way. So here's a humble "thank you" from me to all of my friends, family members, neighbors, and strangers who have served and are serving and to those that have gone before us. God bless you all.

We made it... 7 months of growth, wisdom, and connection

On January 2, 2011 I stood pier-side in Mayport, Florida as I watched my husband set sail for his very first deployment. I don't think words can really do justice to describe the wave of emotions I felt. When I returned home after watching his ship disappear into the horizon, I let myself completely fall apart - but only for that day. I made a promise to myself that the very next day I would get ready for work and step out into the world with a constant and deliberate forward motion. The idea of spending the next seven months in my own realm of self-pity was so completely unappealing to me and I knew it would serve no purpose. I needed to be strong not only for myself, but also for my husband who needed to focus upon his mission at hand and rest soundly in the knowledge that I was safe, happy, and supporting him with all my heart. Now, don't get me wrong... I am human afterall, and I did have days where I wanted nothing more than to shut the rest of the world out and feel sorry for myself, but I never let that be my focus. Instead, I set goals and activities for myself each month as distractions - for me, it was the only way to survive.

Reflecting back upon the first seven months of 2011, I cannot believe how quickly it all seemed to go by! I never ever imagined I'd feel that way, but I have so many things and people to thank for that... but most of all I know with all of my heart that God was behind it all. Because of Him I was able to not only make it through Sayre's deployment, but also use it as a time to grow in wisdom and in relationship with Him. When you strip away the rules, the religion, the human nature of things and just focus on our Creator and sit in awe of Him and the incredible life He has laid before us all, it's hard not to want to grow deeper in relationship with Him and I know that He used this time to draw me closer. It's no question that God is the reason why Sayre and I are even together in the first place and He is what has made our relationship so incredible. I just can't wait to see what He has in store for us next and to see how He used Sayre's deployment to help us grow individually so that we can be even stronger together.

Returning to that pier on August 3rd to anxiously await the return of the ship to its home port brought about another full range of emotions - pride, love, joy, a sense of accomplishment, and complete thankfulness. My friends and I joked about how we might just start attending random homecomings in the future, but honestly if you ever have an opportunity to experience one (even if you don't know any of the servicemembers returning home) I highly highly recommend it. I'll never ever forget my first homecoming experience watching their husbands come home last year either - I left that day with such a new-found respect, love, and admiration for our country and yesterday was certainly no different. I am SO proud to be Sayre's wife and so proud to be a part of this military community. A simple "thank you" to Katharine & Brittany and everyone else that supported us both near and far doesn't seem like enough, but I hope you all know how much all of your love and support has meant to us. We love you all so much and are happy to report that HE'S HOME!!!

It's the Final Countdown!!

Time-lapse video of the final 30 day countdown I made at work to mark Sayre's return! Just a few more hours left!! (And, in case you've been living under a rock for the past 20+ years, that cute little green guy eating all of those coins is Yoshi from the Super Mario Brothers series)

By the way...

THIS made me really happy over the weekend:

Isn't the world wide web amazing? :) Yay for a long-overdue video chat with a very cute hubby!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

In honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I wanted to share a piece of my heart and discuss something I rarely mention here on my little piece of the world wide web.

Growing up, I always felt a special sense of patriotism instilled in me at a young age from my family. My grandfather was a World War II Veteran whose home was always adorned with flags both in the front yard and in the back yard waving proudly in the breeze perched atop its pole nestled on the pier that he built by hand. He had such an infectious personality - it was impossible to be around him without being touched in some way by his wonderful spirit, which I'm sure played a key role in the sense of American pride our entire family always felt. In every memory I have of him, he always had a flag pin attached to the lapel of whatever it was he was wearing - whether he was in his coveralls working in his garden or he was dressed up in a suit. The love he had for the nation he fought so bravely for wasn't dependent upon who was in office at the time, the current state of worldly affairs, or whether or not it was even "popular" to be a proud American - his love for America was rooted in the principals that this nation was founded upon and it didn't matter whether those flags he so proudly displayed were visible or not... his patriotism always shone through.

Now that I, myself, am a military wife and proudly and humbly stand among the thousands upon thousands of other military wives and husbands out there, I have a much deeper understanding of those emotions my grandfather felt regarding this great nation and the people that serve it as well as their families. Although I was young when he passed away, I wish that I had discussed his experiences with him and asked him questions about his time serving in the Navy during World War II... and more than anything, I wish that my husband had been given the opportunity to meet him, but I know that Granddad is smiling down upon both of us as we experience the trials of military life that he and NaNa experienced way-back-when. I have been truly blessed to be able to have these discussions with NaNa, though, and she has offered me such incredible insight to their lives as young newlyweds who faced the uncertainties of war and distance. So many of these stories that she has shared with me I can now relate to, but so many make me marvel at how brave they were back then! When we take a step back and realize the blessings of technology and communication now, I am just in awe of their relentless spirit and courage back then when all they relied upon was the postal service to deliver their letters to one another. Weeks may have gone by without a single letter, and then all of a sudden a whole bundle would arrive - but they never lost hope. NaNa always knew that he would return to her... and a year later he did. What an incredible story of love, hope, and endurance!

So today, on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I just want to take a moment to honor all of the brave men and women before us who have patiently waited for their loved ones to return - always keeping a smile on their faces, hope in their hearts, and courage to carry on. They, and their servicemembers, are such an inspiration to me and make it possible for me to "keep calm and carry on." I am so incredibly honored to walk among them and now call myself a military spouse as well. And to my incredible husband that God so graciously blessed me with: thank you for everything that you do not only for me, but for this country. I am so proud of you and honored to be your wife. Thank you for choosing me :) I love you.

My First Craft Fair!

As I mentioned in some previous posts, I set up my very first booth ever for my HeartAdrift products at the Naval Officers Spouse Association Craft Fair on Saturday. The set up time was from 6:30am-8:30am and then the fair began at 9. Since this was my first one, I really wasn't sure how much time it would take me to set up my booth, so I arrived promptly at 6:30 and began unloading my car. Ultimately it only took about an hour to set up, but that left me with plenty of time to check out some of the other vendors and chat with some incredibly sweet ladies who were running the show. 

I think my favorite part of this whole experience was getting to talk to the shoppers who came by and hear their stories. Since the craft fair itself took place very close to the gates of the Mayport Naval Station, most of the shoppers who came by were military families and spouses. It was so interesting getting to chat with them and find out how long they've been in the military, where they've lived, and what their experiences have been. It just encourages me so much to hear about their lives :) Anyway, this experience also honestly filled me with so much confidence. Growing up I always absolutely loved going to craft shows with my mom... heck, I still love going to them now too! I never really imagined I'd ever have a booth of my own at one some day, and although this was a relatively small craft show, I felt such a sense of accomplishment just simply from setting a goal to participate, preparing for it weeks in advance, and ultimately finding success in the end. 

When it was all said and done, I was exhausted! I was really thankful that it was only for a day ;) I think that was a great way to "get my feet wet" in the world of craft shows... I can't imagine how truly exhausted I would have been if it had lasted for two days! Heck, I went home and was completely crashed in bed by 6:30pm that night!! It was completely worth it though and I do hope to do it again in the future!

Guest Post

Howdy there! Just wanted to pop in and say hello and let y'all know that I have a guest blog post up! Check it out over at the Homefront Team Blog!

Stay tuned for a re-cap of my very experience as a vendor at the Mayport NOSA USO Craft Fair over the weekend! It was so much fun!!

"Ooooh we're halfway there!!...

Ooooh livin' on a prayer!"

Ok... now that I've gotten that out of my system :) ... The last two weeks since my last post remained gloriously busy! My parents came in town to help celebrate another year of my life on this earth and we really had a great time! We were able to head down to Disney World for the weekend and enjoy some beautiful spring weather in all the parks. Mom & Dad even braved some of the "scarier" rides with me... I was so proud ;) And we may have snapped some pictures with a character or two, because you're never too old for that! I'm really so glad they were able to come into town - they made my birthday week so much fun!

I was really truly spoiled all week. First of all, my co-workers are ridiculously awesomely sweet and, despite my best efforts to prevent them from doing so, they totally decked out my cubicle and showered me with love. Even some of my Florida Gator loving co-workers got their hands dirty with hanging purple & gold balloons for me. It was shockingly sweet ;) Then, later that evening when I got home from work, an awesome & delicious Edible Arrangement from a very sweet husband of mine was waiting for me! Also, this past weekend, as a part of an extended celebration, my favorite fellow Navy wives surprised me with an outing to "Yes You Canvas" here in Jax where we painted, sipped some wine, ate some snacks, & learned that despite what the instructor may tell you, the fine detail brush causes fewer headaches than the angled brush ;)

I'm truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life and I'm looking forward to all the things I have going on in the weeks to come!

March Get-Together

Once again I find myself feeling very thankful for this unique community that Sayre's job has placed us in. Although it seems like new friends are constantly coming and going due to the nature of the military, one thing remains constant: support. I know that in some cases it can be rare for a wardroom to be so active, so I am especially thankful for these ladies for making a sincere effort to get together at least once a month. It's just one more wonderful thing that seems to help the time go by faster :)

January Wrap Up - 1 Month Down!

 I've been so busy since my last little post on here that it's hard to know where to begin! January 20th through the 26th, mom and NaNa were in town visiting which was tons of fun! On the days that I had work, I'd come home to a yummy meal that they prepared and then we'd enjoy the evening spending time together - NaNa even learned to do bowling on the Wii and beat me twice! (She's 90 years old!!) On the weekend we spent some time showing NaNa around Jacksonville and Mayport... she even got to see some of St. Augustine too! Speaking of St. Augustine, we actually met up with Aunt Gayle & Uncle Wayne one evening down there as well because they were also in town visiting some dear friends. What perfect timing!

Certainly one of the highlights of their visit here was getting to take them to the Barry Manilow concert one evening :) Mom always was a "Fanilow," so when I heard that he was going to be in town while they were here I just knew we'd have a blast going to see him! He really put on a great show - complete with a full orchestra and everything.

Friday night after they left, I went to another concert with my co-worker and her sister. We went to see George Strait & Reba McEntire! Once again, another fantastic show!! Those two are such country super-stars... I really am so glad we went. I had seen Reba in concert twice when I was around 10 years old and even back then I can remember her performance bringing tears to my eyes. 14 years later, and she is still just as incredible, if not even more so, than she was before! George did a fantastic job too - in fact, they both played and performed for so long that we actually just couldn't sit in the arena any longer so we left after about 4 hours... I think George still had 2 or 3 songs left! It was amazing!

Saturday night I had a lovely dinner with some of the fellow officers' wives whose husbands are also on Sayre's ship at a restaurant in town before meeting up with my other two awesome Navy wife friends whom I had really been looking forward to spending some time with. A night at the Wine Bar down by the beach was just what the three of us needed :) I wrapped up that epic week with a trip to the Renaissance Fair down in Gainesville with another co-worker. The weather was absolutely perfect - clear blue skies and crisp, cool air. It was great! People-watching at a Renaissance Fair is awesome haha. You see all sorts of sights & sounds! We really had a great time :)

Winter Jam

Since I last wrote, I have been pretty busy and this past week seemed to fly by (which is always a good thing). Last weekend the ladies of the wardroom got together for a little potluck dinner at the Captain's wife's house. It was really nice to see everyone and catch up a bit because it's been awhile since we've all gotten together. I'm realizing more & more each day just how lucky I am to be a part of an active and sincere wardroom. They're all very sweet women who have really been very supportive of each other.

I've also realized in the past two weeks how blessed I am to have so many other support systems looking out for me both near and far. This may sound canned or corny, but it truly does continue to amaze me how God seems to put people in your life who are exactly what you need. It's almost dumbfounding how they seem to swoop in and pick you up exactly when you need it the most without even realizing that even just a smile or sweet gesture can completely save your day when it seems to be falling down. It's pretty awesome and I'm a pretty lucky girl... just sayin'. :)

Anyway, Friday night I actually went to a concert called Winter Jam with one of my co-workers. It featured 10 Christian bands like Newsboys, David Crowder Band, Newsong, Kutless, Chris Sligh, etc. The tickets were only $10 and it was general admission seating, so we figured we'd be up in the arena since we headed over there after work, but we really didn't mind. We were, however, very wrong haha because somehow or another we ended up in the front row! It was so much fun!

Next up on the concert list: Reba McEntire & George Strait at the end of the month! Also, I just have to mention the fact that I got tickets this weekend to see New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys in Orlando this summer! It's gonna be awesoooome! I know... I know... It's not *NSYNC... but I'm pretty sure this is the closest I will ever get to an *NSYNC reunion lol so I'll take it! Plus, who am I kidding here? We all know that even if I refused to admit it in highschool because I was so loyal to my beloved *NSYNC, I was still totally a closet BSB fan :) Ooh if you could have seen Katharine and I as we waited for 10am to roll around on Saturday morning to buy our tickets. We were so nervous haha and then we we finally got them we squealed like we were 16 all over again! I absolutely cannot wait for that concert!

Happy New Year

I've started writing this post several times, only to wind up getting frustrated with my words and ultimately deleting the post altogether. Now that I've had some time to let the "new car scent" of a new year full of uncertainties fade a bit, I think I can finally publish this post.

The second day of 2011 left me feeling as though my world was crumbling around me. My eyes burned from tears shed, my throat ached from gasps of air, and my head yearned to seek the comfort of my pillow. When I finally laid down to take a nap, I prayed that I wouldn't wake up until the year was almost over. Just two days into the new year, I had already given up on 2011. The afternoon passed and turned into evening. I laid down once again to sleep and vowed to wake up on Monday morning with a better outlook and renewed confidence.

Although I still felt the waves of aftershock in the morning, I forced a smile upon my face and stepped back out into the world. Slowly, as the hours passed, I realized that life was going to move at the same speed as it always had before despite my heart's wishes for time to bend to my own terms. Focusing on each day and remaining in the present moment is the only way to survive - if I look too far ahead to the future, I'll just continue to stumble and fall from blindly running along. I am a strong, confident, and very blessed woman. My new year's resolution is to simply remember those three truths. With God, my family, and friends by my side, I'll be just fine. I can now say I welcome the new year with joy. 

Warfare Pinning

This past Friday Sayre received his Naval Warfare pin which is a pretty big milestone in his Naval career. Fortunately I had the opportunity to go out to his ship for the ceremony and actually pin him. It was a really special moment for both of us. I'm such a proud wife :)

An Emotional Return

A few weeks ago, I had the honor of experiencing the homecoming of the USS Taylor. My friend's husband and another friend's fiancée were aboard the frigate for a 6 month deployment and returned home on October 23rd. I tagged along with the girls to photograph the incredibly emotional and heartwarming day.

It's really hard to put into words the range of emotions I felt that day. At times, I felt almost as nervous as the girls did because I began to realize the enormity of the day and I could only just begin to imagine what it must feel like to be reunited with your loved one after they have been serving our country overseas. All too often we take these things for granted - heck, even despite being a Navy wife myself, the fact that every single day people are separated from the ones they love who are defending our country isn't always in the forefront of my mind, but experiencing this homecoming helped me to gain a much better appreciation for the sacrifices that these men, women, & their families make for our freedom. No matter who is in office at any given time and no matter what state of affairs our country may be in, the fact of the matter still remains - these men and women put themselves at risk every single day for the truths & principals upon which our forefathers founded this great nation.

I just beamed with pride as tears welled up in my eyes watching these sweet amazing girls that I have gotten the privilege of getting to know be reunited with their men. I am honored that they let me be a part of that amazing day. Honestly, it was such a privilege for me just to be able to experience something like that too so that I will know what to expect someday after Sayre returns from a deployment.

The Ebb & Flow of Military Life

Flexibility has become one of life's greatest virtues in the past year. Great excitement and great disappointment are just a part of every day life whether you are in the military or not. Even when you think you've crossed all your t's and dotted all your i's, things don't always go according to plan. Sadly, we're having to post-pone our much anticipated trip to visit family in Alaska because of reasons we cannot control. It's utterly heartbreaking when you've done everything right to make such a trip occur, only to get it taken away from you at the drop of a hat... but, duty calls. I just pray that we can reschedule it for sometime in the near future. So goes the ebb & flow of military life.

May, where did you go?

Is it really June already? How in the world did that happen? Time is just zooooooming on by! Last weekend (Memorial Day Weekend) we had the pleasure of visiting Pensacola, where a bunch of the good old USNA gang is currently living. It was great to see everyone, catch up a bit, and tour around everyone's new places. Unfortunately it rained the whole time we were there, and we only stayed through Sunday, but it was still a good trip overall. I think it was especially great for Sayre since he missed seeing everyone at Brandon & Ginny's wedding. Pensacola is only about 5 hours away from us, so I'm sure we'll make our way over there to see everyone again sometime in the future.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Sayre will be returning from his voyage on Saturday (yaaaaay!) only to leave again on Monday (boooo). While he's been gone, I've been so very thankful to have my new job to keep me busy... otherwise, who knows what kind of trouble I could have gotten myself into! I'd probably be buried up to my neck in completed crafts by now ;) Heck, even while working full time I've still managed to bake a bit more often than I usually do just to help the time pass by at night. Fortunately, rather than keeping the sweet confections for myself, I've shared them at work. Since tomorrow is St. Patrick's day, I made some chocolate cupcakes with green frosting tonight :) I have a sinking feeling that Sayre will be sad when he hears about all of this... poor thing... normally I try to put a limit on the number of sweets we have around the house (mostly because I will eat it all).

In addition to baking and working, I also kept myself busy this weekend playing around with some other lovely Navy wives whose husbands are also on Sayre's ship. On Saturday, I went to the Town Center here in Jacksonville with Jeanet and her sweet little baby girl Aliea. On Sunday, I met up with them again as well as another wife named Laura who has a precious 7 year old son. Y'all, he is seriously the sweetest and most well-mannered little boy I have ever met in my life! He's awesome! He would run to open the doors for us, was super-eager to push Aliea's stroller, and was so sweet & friendly. I told Laura she should write a book on parenting. Anyway, it was a great weekend. Hanging out with the girls certainly helped to pass the time. As sad as it sounds, by the end of the weekend, I was actually pretty tired. I guess I still need to get used to working full time again and having a social life.

Ahoy there mateys!

Sayre and I survived his first "underway" this week! His ship took off very early Monday morning to spend the week on the high seas doing training maneuvers. Despite bad weather, rough seas, and a bit of sea sickness as a result, Sayre seemed to really enjoy his time out there! Even though he was only gone for a few short days, the idea of him being gone and how unpleasant that was going to be finally snuck up on me late Sunday night before he departed. I knew that it was only going to be for five days, and I was very well aware of the fact that I could handle it knowing that in the future he'll be gone for much longer, but still something just came over me in that moment and I lost it. I became consumed by this overwhelming realization of the future and what's to come for us when he does actually have to deploy for upwards of six months at a time. I wondered, "How will I cope with him being gone? What will I do when I can't talk to him for days, weeks, and months at a time? Will simple emails be enough?"

Fortunately, Sayre had a better grip on things than I did at that moment, and he was able to calm me down and remind me that we don't have to worry about his deployment for a very long time (Thank you, God!). Once Monday morning rolled around and he took off, I was much more relaxed. By Thursday I was actually really proud of myself for the things that I had accomplished while he was gone and happy about the time I had to get to know another officer's wife while our husbands were gone. It was even kind of fun at times anticipating the next email I'd receive from him on the ship :) It reminded me of our courtship (I know that makes me sound so old-fashioned ;) ) and the times we spent getting to know each other's hearts more deeply through written correspondance. Then to my great surprise and shock, shortly after I got home from visiting with that wife Thursday afternoon, Sayre showed up on our doorstep with beautiful tulips in hand! His ship had returned a day early because they couldn't complete any more of their training missions since the weather had gotten so bad (the entire crew got sea sick at one point or another... not fun). Although being apart from one another is never fun, I think that this underway was good for both of us. It made me realize that although the future will certainly not be easy, I'll be able to handle it and cherish the moments that I do have with him.